i am officially done with my freshman year of college. and i couldnt be more sad. i honestly dont know where the time went. it just happened so quickly and i guess i was just so happy that time just flew right by me. three months. THREE MONTHS until everyone comes back. and im stuck in athens working 3 days a week with none of my friends here. and the other 4 days im in suwanee, but im not friends with the same people i was before. except for kelly and liz and cristina and casey, ive made new friends. and i dont want to hang out with old friends because i miss the new ones so much more. already. and we thought high school was hard to leave...but this is so much worse.

i am in love with college. dont get me wrong, i love my family and im so glad i get to see them more, but its hard to go from being able to do whatever i want and with whoever i want to having to remember to call my mom and tell her where i am. and i dont know what im going to do without ramsey this summer. where on earth will i run? i am going to miss its flat, air-conditioned track. and the ping-pong players :) and im gonna miss our girly gossip during stretches. and my roommate. she means the world to me.

i will be spending lots of money on gas to go to alpharetta this summer. those kids made college for me. steven, trent, clinton, brad, andrew, eric, chloe. i really dont know what i did without them first semester. i dont know what i would do without them now. they have instilled something in me that i will never lose. and i dont know what it is, but its there and its alive and it has changed me. im so different than i was when i graduated. not in a bad way or a 'crazy college kid' way, but i feel like a more complex person. i know who i am and why i do the things i do. and the way i do them. and first semester was amazing too. casey and i got to know each other and became really close. and its sad that we havent stayed like that this semester, but i know this summer there will be plenty of shopping trips and then in the fall we will be living together, which im really excited about. so im not worried about that. i hope she likes my friends. and i miss talking to james a lot too. i havent seen him since last semester, but he was a lot of fun to talk to. im glad we got to know mary katherine too. shes just an all-around cool person. and chris was my first 'new' friend in college and it was so effortless and he does so many nice things for me. and brandon...ive never had someone make fun of me more, and make me laugh at the same time. its wierd to think that while we were in high school with the people we had always known, there were these awesome people out there...like waiting for us to meet them. and its wierd to think they had lives before i met them. and they did the same things i did. i feel like ive always known these people. and i wonder if there are more people out there that i could feel like this with too. i hope so. those kind of people are the best.

i think if i could go back and redo freshman year, i would get to know the girls on my hall better. even if they dont seem like the type of people i would hang out with, theyre all really nice and sweet, and i think i could have gotten a lot out of knowing them. and i guess i should have studied more. but its hard when theres just so much to do. and when there is facebook and facebook chat. my goal this summer is to stay in shape, and also to dress like i know what im doing. i feel like i just throw on a t-shirt and jeans, when i could do so much more.

college has turned out to be more than i could have ever hoped for. more than i could have ever anticipated or expected. more than i could have dreamed about. and yet, i cant live without it. this summer better be extraordinary, because if its not, then ill miss athens. and i will just have to get by on the fact that sophomore year is coming soon. ugh. three months.